Accepting Help
Good Morning, friends. I’m sorry about not writing on Tuesday, but we had an early appointment and errands to run and moms to call, you know how it goes. We’ve added non-stress tests to our list of appointments at Magee so we’ll be there twice a week, more or less, to do those along with weekly appointments and bi-weekly ultrasounds. Is it “bi-weekly” or “semi-weekly?” I’m never sure. Whichever is every other week, we’ll be doing one more of those. Yup, just one, I’m pretty sure. We only scheduled one more because I’m pretty sure the next time we would have an ultrasound will be the week we deliver. So there’s that.
I find it to be amazing how many people jump at an opportunity to offer help when it’s presented. Last week I made a comment about my tree still being up and how much I would love to take it down, but just wasn’t feeling up to all the bending and reaching it involved. At least three people offered to come over and help me take it down within a few hours of that post. One of those people actually sent a crew to come and do it for me. I’m not usually one to advocate for pushing things on people, but sometimes help has to be pushed.
I got a call some time after posting last Thursday from a dear friend who has been dealing with many health issues this winter and has mostly been stuck in her house with her two teenage daughters. She has been offering to send these girls to me to clean my house and help me out for months now and for months now I’ve politely resisted. I recognize that I need the help, sure, but for a long time I’ve been convinced that being pregnant wasn’t so cumbersome that I couldn’t vacuum or sweep or clean in general. Said friend also lives 40 minutes from us, so I’d have to drive out and pickup the girls to drive back so they could clean for me, to drive them back home before going to pick up Logan, so it didn’t seem super worth it. Two things have changed since then: I’ve gotten much bigger, and said friend’s brother-in-law has moved in with them and while looking for a job and studying, has the free time to drive little girls around.
So she calls me up and asks when she can send the girls over to do my tree and the nursery and such and I awkwardly struggle against the instinct to deflect the offer. I knew I needed the help, but at the same time, it’s a little weird to have other people cleaning your house and dealing with your mess while you’re there. I explained that my mom was coming the next day to do the nursery. No problem, she says, the girls can do the tree and clean the house. I look at my calendar and hmm and haw about what day would be okay while she tells me all the things her girls are good at cleaning. We get side-tracked and I think maybe I’ll get away with picking a day later, which won’t happen because anything put off for later gets forgotten eventually, but then I hear her brother-in-law walk through and her ask him if he’s free today to take the girls over. Today, as in right then.
And just like that, my dear friend tells me she’s sending over her girls with their uncle after she feeds them lunch and they’re going to run my vacuum and do my tree and whatever else needs done and I know I need the help and I know I’m not doing anything else so I can’t reasonably refuse. And thus I accepted help for the first time this pregnancy that I really needed. It was super strange, and a little awkward as I tried to help but not help, because the whole point was for me to let them do it instead. It’s hard to watch and not do something, but I did my best. In the end my vacuum finally got run, my dishes were done, my tree was taken downstairs along with other Christmas decorations and my sidewalk finally got cleared of the like four inches of snow we’d gotten.
I am so thankful for those girls and their willingness to help, and for their very sweet uncle who agreed to drive them all the way to my house so that they could help, and especially thankful for their mom who pushed in the most loving way possible to send them to help me. It’s one thing to know you need help, and another to actually take the leap and accept the help that is offered. I’m so blessed to have people like this dear friend who are not only willing to come, or send, help, but will pursue it until I give in. My mom came on Friday and we sorted through all the nursery things, so I’m feeling pretty good about our progress thus far. At least we can get things out of the way enough to put up the crib now. Logan and I still have a lot to do to get ready for the boys, but I know that when I look for help, or even when I don’t, someone will be there to offer hands and resources and support. I just have to brave enough to actually accept them.
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